This Was Never Part of the Plan (edited)
by shulesluvvah
Summary: He looked around like a sly, witty answer that would save him would be written on the walls, but there was nothing. For once, Shawn Spencer was speechless. Juliet was close to hysterics. Shawn bit his lips together. He was reluctant to say anything, but then his words fell out without warning. Without thought. "Falling in love with you was never part of the plan, okay? "
1. Chapter 1

**A/n-After watching the remake episode I decided that I should go back and add to the story. This is seriously my favourite story that I have ever written and I've sadly lost inspiration for the sequel. Hopefully rewriting the story will help bring back some motivation! **

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN PSYCH.**

Chapter One

Henry's words rang through Shawn's head. _I will break that cycle. No doubt of it, _he thought to himself as he made his way back to his beautiful girlfriend with a drink in his hand. When he reached her he saw that she had a confused look on her face, but that didn't register in his head. To him, everything was fine.

"Where's yours," Juliet asked as he handed her the drink. She sat it down on the table almost instantly and laced her fingers in front of her as she tried to hide her shakiness.

"I had a shot over at the bar," he said slowly, pointing in the direction he had come from. He saw Juliet fidgeting with her hands. She sounded nervous. Why was she so nervous?

"Shawn," Juliet said with a shaking voice. She tried to hide it, but she ended up only anxiously tucking her hair behind her ear. "I need to ask you something. And I'm sure that this is just me… overthinking things, but…uhm." She rambled on trying to find the best way to word her questions to Shawn. She wasn't as good with words as he was and that was embarrassing sometimes. "Yesterday, you were at the hotel. You saw the hallways you know the layout-"

"Guilty as charged."

"Well, you said that you had this… spectacular vision that Marlow was covered in garbage. But couldn't you have just remembered that there was a trash shoot on every floor and then just taken a guess?"

Shawn was kind of shocked that she was saying all of this. He knew right where this conversation was heading. He felt like he was going to be sick. "Uh, yeah, I suppose so, but that would have been a pretty wild guess, don't ya think?" He gave a small laugh and tried to pull off his famous grin but failed miserably.

"Absolutely" Juliet let out a small sigh and shoved her hands into her pockets. Maybe she was just overthinking all of this. Maybe she just had a little too much to drink. But the feeling of the concert ticket was all too real. It was the only thing keeping her in reality. "And, you know, I probably wouldn't have given it a second thought but then…there was this." Jules pulled out the Michael Damien concert ticket and handed it to him. Shawn felt his stomach drop. Their conversation wasn't even half way started, but he knew he couldn't talk himself out of this one. "And I'm sure that there is an explanation-there always is- but you know me, I won't be able to stop thinking it and I certainly won't be able to rest until we clear it up."

For the first time in his life, Shawn Spencer was speechless. He looked up from the ticket and just starred at his girlfriend as she waited for him to say something. Her face got angrier as she saw he showed no emotion. _After six years I finally make a mistake. A mistake this stupid! _Shawn screamed at himself in his head. _Scratch that, these past seven years have been a mistake. This stupid, stupid lie was a HUGE mistake. _

"Lassiter said that you had a _vision_ of Herb with Michael Damien; but you had this receipt so you knew Herb would be there, right?"

Shawn looked around like a sly, witty answer that would save him would be written on the walls, but there was nothing. For once, Shawn Spencer was speechless. Dumbfounded. He looked around and saw Lassie dancing with his bride. The man he thought was near to being heartless had found love. His best friend seemed to be having the time of his life talking to his girlfriend on the phone. Gus seemed to be reviled that he had nothing to worry about. All his worries where long forgotten and in the past. He took one last look at the wall praying that the answer would have decided to join them, but it didn't. Instead he seemed to replay their past together. He saw the moment when he first met her. They were both so much younger. His lips tingled as he remembered their first kiss. All the memories hit him like a brick ball.

Shawn's sad eyes met Jules' infuriated ones. It brought him back to the present. Back to their own world as everybody else's flew by them in a whirl. "Shawn! Are you listening to me?!" Juliet was close to hysterics. Shawn bit his lips together. He was reluctant to say anything, but then his words fell out without warning. Without thought.

"Falling in love with you was never part of the plan, okay? This whole thing started because my ass was on the line. Self-preservation, Jules, you got to understand that! I didn't have a choice. And then we sort of found a grove. And by the time you showed up, it was so much fun! We put away almost over a hundred criminals: most of them were even murders. I'm good at what I do, and what I do… is good. Isn't it? Isn't it?"

His words stung her. She felt her composure start to break as tears built up in her eyes. _Falling in love with you was never part of the plan._ Those words weren't going anywhere anytime soon. "What. Are. You. Talking about?" Again, she waited for a response but he said nothing. "Are you telling me this all a lie?!" Her question sent daggers through both of their hearts.

"Please don't make me answer that," he said close to a whisper. This couldn't be happening. He bit the inside of his cheek and prayed it was a dream. He really needed to stop praying like that. It never did get him anywhere.

Finally her tears spilled over as she looked to the floor. "Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I feel so stupid," Juliet whispered between breathes.

"No," Shawn said. He felt like an idiot. He hated himself as he looked at the woman he loved more than anything and knew she was breaking because of his lies. "No, sweetheart, this is all me." He took a step forward and reached out to her, but before he got anywhere Juliet reached for her glass and threw her drink onto his face. Shawn's eyes stung as he watched her run out of the reception hall.

"Shawn? Is everything okay," Gus asked as he slowly approached his best friend. He had seen everything from the balcony.

"No man. I really messed this up," he said as he sat down in the chair right next to the one that Juliet was eating cake at. Shawn smacked the empty Champaign glass off the table as anger ran through his veins. His anger quickly faded into despair the small ring in his pants pocket made itself known again. It suddenly felt 100 times heavier than what it really was. "What am I going to do?"

**So not much has changed in this chapter, but the other chapters are going to be longer and I am going to possibly add different stuff into it (like more chapters) so its not going to be the exact same story. **

**So as always, leave me a review and let me know what you think! :D Thanks for reading and have a GREAT day!**

~Angie


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"Are you telling me this is all a lie," I asked with a shaking voice. I glared at him as I waited for a response. Seeing his blank stare made me even angrier. Finally it melted into something painfully pathetic.

"Please don't make me answer that." Tears welled up in my eyes and I looked down. I couldn't look at him. My hands formed fists in front of me.

"Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, I feel so stupid." I felt a tear slip from my eyes, but I didn't let anymore fall. I didn't want him to see how weak I really was.

"No," Shawn sighed. Usually hearing his voice gave me butterflies, but this time it only added to the anger. "No, sweetheart, this is all me." He took a step towards me, and without thinking I picked up the glass from the table and threw its contents onto his face. Without looking back, I ran.

I weaved through the crowd of dancing people trying to get out as fast as I could. It took me awhile but I eventually saw the door through my blurry vision. I was almost there, but something caught my arm.

"Juliet, where are you going so fast?" I looked back to see Henry. He let go of my elbow when he saw my face. "What happened," he asked carefully. I knew I couldn't get anything past Henry. He was the best detective the SBPD has ever seen. Of course he knew something was wrong.

"I..I don't," I stumbled. I looked towards the door than down at my trembling hands. I saw him look towards Shawn. I stole a glance in his direction too. He was sitting at the table soaking wet with Gus trying to console him.

"You found out, didn't you," he softly said. That's when it really hit me. A big chunk of my life was a lie, and people knew about it. Henry knew. Of course Gus had to of known. Who else did?! Was I the only naïve one?

"I…I have to go," I said quietly before turning and running outside. I heard someone call my name, but just kept walking until I got to a taxi. Carlton and Marlowe both thought that it would be a good idea to have taxis prepaid to take people home. I was thankful for this. I got in and told the taxi driver my address. I saw the reflection of the man I loved starring after the car as it pulled away.

I wanted to feel bad for leaving Carlton's wedding reception, but I knew he was probably too interested in his new wife to notice that anyone else was even there. That was understandable. And besides, I couldn't feel anything but anger and betrayal anyways.

I was thankful the driver was quiet during the short drive home. I wasn't up for talking to anyone. Especially Shawn, but he still called me twice. I quietly thanked the young man and tipped him when he reached my house. Part way up the steps to the porch, I bent down and took my heels off so I could make it up the stairs better. I was surprised my shaking hand got the key into the door. When I got inside, I locked the door to keep Shawn out. I knew he had a key, but maybe-just maybe- he'd get the idea.

_Falling in love with you was never part of the plan._

I felt like I was autopilot. I quickly got out of my dress and into the shower before I could fall apart. I told myself I would get through this. I grew up with a conman as a father so I knew how to deal with this. But in a way this was completely different. Shawn _was_ my _boyfriend_. I trusted him. I grew up with Frank; I was used to how he was very since I was very young. But Shawn? I thought he was the one person that I could trust to be there for me and _not _lie to me.

_I'm good at what I do, and what I do… is good. Isn't it? _Isn't it? No, it's not. Yes, he put away murders, but he lied and did it as a "psychic". My mind was sticking up for him, my heart was screaming at me that he was wrong, all while on the outside it seemed like nothing was wrong. Well, apart from my trembling hands and unsteady breathing. My composure was slowly cracking.

_Gosh, I'm so stupid._

I got out of the shower and put sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt on. When I walked out of my bathroom I noticed for the first time how much of a mess my room really was. Shawn had clothes, shoes, and just _everything_ laying _everywhere. _Out of rage I grabbed his suitcase and stuffed everything of his insight into the bag. I struggled carrying it down the hall and to the front door. I opened the door and threw it as hard as I could. I felt accomplished even though it only went a couple feet away from the door.

I didn't realise how much I was shaking until I sat down and reached for the remote And I didn't realise how close I was to breaking at seams until silence surrounded me. Shawn's words _still _were echoing in my head. In fact, they were the only thing I could hear. _Falling in love with you was never part of the plan._ I know I was overreacting and twisting his words into something that they didn't mean, but they still pierced me every time I thought them. My mind drifted without warning.

_I look out my kitchen window as I wait for my tea to be done. I am still in shock from our newest-and last- encounter with Mr Yin. I know he is dead and everything, but I just can't get past the memories of being tied to that clock tower. I still have nightmares about it._

_I hear my alarm system beep twice indicating someone just walked through my front door. "Shawn," I call out with a voice I'm not used to. A voice that is layered in fear and stress. I eye the place where I have a gun hidden for emergencies. Just in case._

"_Yeah, it's me," he says. He comes around the corner and stops in the doorway. I know he's looking at me in confusion, but I don't turn around: I just continue to look outside at the almost set sun. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?" The tea pot starts to whistle, but again, I just keep staring at my reflection. In the reflection can see the pained look on his face as he walks over and turns the stove off. He walks towards me and wraps his arms around me from behind. I turn around and pull him into a hug. He puts one of his hands on the back of my head and asks, "You're still worried about the Yin case, aren't you." Not wanting to move from this position, I just nod. "Did you already forget what I told you this morning?" I smile and put my chin on his chest, looking up into his eyes._

"_Yeah, I think I did. I think you might have to remind me." He knows I'm only kidding, but plays along. I just want to hear him say it again._

"_I will always protect you," he smiles down at me before kissing me on the tip of my nose. "Always. Someone will have to get through this perfectly sculpted man of steel before they could even get close to you." _

"_I love you, Shawn."_

"_And I… love… you," he says between kisses on my nose. I wrinkle it before putting my head back onto his chest and he holds me a little tighter. "Forever. More than anything." I smile. Even though I know I'm going to be facing nightmares tonight, I know that I won't be facing them alone._

A soft knock on the door brought me back from those memories. Of course, in the silence the soft knock sounded like an explosion. Instinctively my hand went towards the direction of my hidden pistol in the coffee table. I was relieved and aggravated at the same time when I heard who it was. "Jules? Can you please come out and talk to me?" I slammed the remote on the coffee table and got up.

"Go away Shawn," I said when I got to the door. "I _do not_ want to talk to you."

"Jules, Sweetheart." I cut him by undoing the locks on the door. I swung it open so hard that I actually hurt my arm in the process.

"Don't call me that," I said softly. My next words were anything but soft. "What makes you think that I would want to talk to you?" He went to answer me, but I put up my hand and stopped him. "What makes you think that I'd even believe you?!" He just stood there and stared at me.

"Just let me explain." I looked down and shook my head no.

"I don't want to hear it." I went to shut the door, but his foot stopped me.

"Please," he pleaded. I couldn't look at him. I wanted to be mad at him, but I knew if he wanted me to, I would fall back into his deception.

"Goodbye Shawn." He didn't move his foot. "I said goodb-" I was cut off by his hand gently lifting my head up to look at him. I moved out of his grasp and glared at him.

"I love you Juliet O'Hara." I took the opportunity I had and shut the door. "I'm not just going to give up on us!" I quickly locked the door again.

"Go away Shawn!" I saw his distorted figure pick up his suitcase and walk down to the road. I ran back to the couch and curled up in a blanket. I watched out the window as a little blue echo pulled up as the man who was my whole world got in it and left.

**Was Juliet being a little too harsh? I dunno! Leave a review and let me know how you're liking it thus far! (:  
**~Angie


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

When I woke up I felt like I was in a haze. My back ached and my eyes were painfully dry. I tried to rollover and quickly got tangled in the blanket. My cat Charlie took this opportunity to start purring and knead on my leg. I smiled and scooped him up. I tried to get comfortable, but I just couldn't. I had a throbbing head ache and my eyes were completely dry. The buzz from my cell phone sent a bolt of adrenaline through me. I groaned, got up, and walked over to the kitchen counter.

"Hello?!" My voice was so groggy and strained it even scared me.

"O'hara? Are you alright?"

"Chief! Yes..I... It was a late night."

"Yes, it was; but I need you down here ASAP. We may have a possible serial killer in the area." Before I could say anything she was gone.

As I was getting ready, I realised that Carlton wouldn't be at the station. Chief threatened to take his badge if he came anywhere near it. Of course she really wouldn't fire him, but he needed to take a vacation. No matter how small. Since he wouldn't be there, that meant that I would be the head detective for the next three days. I smiled at that thought. I was out the door five minutes later.

xxx

I sat at my desk and tried to memorize the details of this case. My head was still foggy, so it was hard to concentrate and remember the fine details. I had only dealt with one other serial killer before, and I was nervous about all of this because my partner was who knows where. I flipped through the pages trying to soak in all of the information. This was the only thing on my mind. That is until someone pulled a chair up and sat down across from me. He had his charming smile plastered on his face, but his eyes were the saddest that I have ever seen. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. He acted as if I didn't know about his lie. As if we hadn't fought last night.

"Hey, Jules." I thought that maybe this whole thing might have just been a huge nightmare until he spoke. I looked up at him for a moment and took in every detail of his face. He looked exhausted. His eyes where blood shot. I was glad I knew how to hide things like that because that was exactly what I had looked like that morning.

"Mr. Spencer," I nodded. Pain flashed across his face. Ashamed, I had to look away.

"Do you.. uh.. have a minute. I need to talk to you."

"I'm afraid I don't. I have a briefing to attend." With that I got up and headed over to where the Chief was preparing the final details on the white board. He didn't immediately follow me. I was hurting him, but not nearly as much as he hurt me. But I wanted to run back to him and hug him and kiss him and tell him that I love him and that I forgave him. But could I forgive him? Did I love him? Better yet, did he love me, or was I just another lie? Another game to see how far he could go without his true motive being found out.

"Everyone, please gather around." I walked over to the group of around 15 officers and made my way to the front. When everyone was there, she started. "As you all know there have been three hangings in the past week that we ruled out as suicides. We now have reason to believe these cases were murders done by the same person."

I felt someone come up behind me. I looked out of the corner of my eye to see Shawn standing there. I shifted uncomfortably. Chief Vick continued. "The Coroner's Report states that all three victims…" She stopped mid-sentence and was looking at someone. I turned around to see a man who was walking by that had stopped and joined us. "Excuse me sir, you cannot be here." The man nervously nodded and walked away.

"That was weird. That man was weird," Shawn said almost silently. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or to himself. I tried to slightly move away from him. The smell of his cologne was making my head spin. Chief went to start again, but- "OH! I'm getting something," Shawn shouted putting his fingers to his forehead. Those simple things that have been a part of my daily life for the past seven years sent a dagger through my chest. He sent a quick, apologetic look at me then continued. "He did it! He's the killer!" We looked in the direction Shawn was pointing in.

"Chief! I swear I didn't do it! I have no idea what he's talking about," Buzz said quickly with wide, terrified eyes. I usually would have laughed-or at least smiled at the funny incident- but I was emotionally drained. I felt like a living zombie.

"No," Shawn said with a frustrated sigh before motioning back towards the exit door. "The guy that stopped to eavesdrop on our little P.C. He…"

"That is_ enough,_ Mr. Spencer. We do not have time for your outbursts today." Shawn backed down as Chief interrupted him. "As I was saying. The Coroner's Report states that all three victims' COD was not only from hanging, but they were poisoned as well. We cannot be entirely sure what it was, but it's a mixture of bleach and another unidentified toxin. These deaths are not just coincidences anymore, people! And I will not have another serial killer loose on my streets. I need everyone here to be on this case and this case only. We will wait for anything else to come up. In the meantime, I want every detail memorized. We need to catch this sick son of a bitch as quickly as possible." She looked at all of us; and once she knew that we all understood this threat on our city, she dismissed us.

I made my way to the Evidence Room hoping I could find something new about our case. I put my hand on the door and was about to open it but a strong hand on my shoulder stopped me. I turned around to see Shawn. I took a step to the side so his hand was no longer on me. I didn't want to be anywhere near him. "Juliet, I really think that we should talk about this. I feel like you should except this because you're always the one who wants to talk things over and I always like to not talk about things so now's your…" I stopped his rambling with a fuming whisper.

"Don't turn this all around on me, Shawn Spencer!" My mind instantly told me that he wasn't intending for it to come out that way, but I couldn't help myself. "Did you not listen to Chief Vick when she said that we all needed to be working on this case?! I'm trying not to let _your_ lie interfere with _my_ police work, but it's harder than it sounds." My voice cracked at the end of my sentence. I felt tears begin to form and I tried to control my emotions, but I knew that Shawn could tell that I was close to breaking down again.

"Sweetheart." I thought I saw tears in his eyes, but I quickly ruled that out. He was a heartless liar. He reached out and tried to put his hand on my cheek. I quickly moved so he couldn't. He sighed in defeat. "I am so sorry." I just stared at him as he tried to reach for me again.

"O'Hara! There was another mur… what was going on here?" We both jumped as Chief quickly came down the stairs towards us.

"Oh, nothing. We're done." My words had a double meaning that Shawn understood. He shook his head once and looked at his feet. I knew we should talk it over, but I needed some time and space away from him. That was the only way I could get that point across to him.

"It doesn't matter. Just come quickly!" She went to walk away but stopped. "And Mr Spencer, please come along. I want you to see if you can get a reading on the crime scene." With that she was gone.

Shawn and I stood there in silence for a second before I spoke. My eyes didn't leave the ground. "I grew up with a conman as a father and I promised myself I would never trust anyone again because of him. You were the only one who I've ever really trusted. Honesty is everything to me, you know that. And I'm not sure I can just let this slide. If you were really sorry, Shawn, you'd do something to prove it" With that, I walked away.

_Falling in love with you was never part of the plan._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

The drive to the crime scene was only a few minutes, but it felt like an eternity with Shawn sitting next to me. Gus was getting Rachel and Max from the airport and my partner was gone so it was only obvious that I'd be Shawn's ride. I almost ran from the car when we got there, but I didn't want our breakup to be known. Not yet at least. I knew people would eventually find out; but the longer it would take them to find out, the better. I didn't want to make up a cover story and lie, but I also didn't want to tell them what actually happened. I might have been mad at Shawn, but I didn't want to expose him. He needed to do that on his own.

When we walked into the house, the only thing that gave away that it was a crime scene was the group of CSI dusting the place like crazy. "This way," Chief Vick said to us as she and Buzz walked into the room from a hallway. I was prepared for a hanging. I've seen many hangings in investigations before but never one a serial killer planned out.

The victim was a young female, 20-25 years old at the most. She had red hair and looked to be about my height. Her mouth was open with a silent scream and she was staring at us with a horrified look on her face. There was something about her stare though. I couldn't look away from her bloody, eyeless face. I was horrified and disgusted.

"Oh… I'm getting something!" Shawn's outburst broke me out of my trance. I tried to not let my feelings get to me while we were on the case, but I couldn't deny the knife in my chest. He stole a glance at me before closing his eyes and putting his finger to his head. "I.. I .. I feel. I feel warm."

"Warm," Buzz questioned.

"Yes! Uhh.. Warm, and.. sticky! Sticky like blood… sticky," Shawn stumbled while using his free hand to make gestures. Suddenly he pointed to the oven. "Under the oven! Look under the oven!" I put a pair of gloves on and reached under the oven. Sure enough there was a blood soaked knife.

"Looks like our new friend got a little sloppy," Shawn said as he took away his fingers and gained his composure back.

"Nice work, Mr. Spencer," chief praised. She called one of the crime scene investigators over. "I want you to get the blood on this knife tested ASAP." He nodded and took the knife from me.

As Shawn was trying to get a "reading" on Jane Doe after they took her down, I continued to look around the kitchen. I looked at the stove to try and figure out how Shawn knew where the knife was. I bent down and saw a faint blood smear leading under the oven. It was so faint that you wouldn't be able to see it from where Chief and I were standing earlier.

I stood up and started looking around again. I stopped at the fridge and looked at a "To Do List" pad. Something was off about it. I flipped to the next page. "Chief," I called over. She was at my side in an instant. We both silently read the neat handwritten note. Handwritten in blood.

_Congratulations SBPD. You finally figured out that my murders weren't all just a coincidence. I was beginning to wonder when you would catch on. Enjoy trying to find me. This is going to be a fun game! Here's who my next victim is. Maybe you find them before they die this time. Unlikely. _

_PS. I would like to be known as the hangman. I hope _

_that's not too much to ask for._

By the time we were done reading the note, almost everyone in the room was crowded around us trying to read it as well. Chief took the notepad and handed it to an officer to give to evidence. "Well, I think we're just about done here." We all followed her outside. "Mr. Spencer, you are free to leave, but make sure I am able to contact with you." Shawn saluted her as she turned to get in Buzz's cruiser. I got in my car and looked in my rearview mirror. Shawn was just standing there like a lost puppy.

"Do you need a ride," I yelled out my window without turning around. I would have thought twice about asking for another awkward car ride, but it started raining. I was mad, but not heartless. He rocked forward and backwards on his feet and looked like he was trying to make a hard decision. I rolled my eyes and started my car.

"Wait! Yes! I need one!" He was in my car in record time. We both looked at each other. He had a goofy grin on his face, but his eyes still gleaned with pain. Water droplets were sticking in his hair and a few ran down his face. Gosh, he was beautiful. I looked away and started the car as butterflies flew in my stomach. I let my mind drift as we drove in silence.

_I walk into the diner and take the first seat that I see. I pick up a menu and act like I'm reading it. This is my first assignment as Detective Juliet O'hara. My hands shake slightly. I'm excited, but a little nervous. My partner already seems as if he hates my presence and I'm the youngest detective that the department has ever seen so I don't want to screw this up._

_I look up as a man comes and stands next to me. He's tall and seems fit. His brown hair makes his green eyes really stick out. And as soon as he speaks, I have butterflies. "Uh, excuse me. You're in my seat."_

"_Am I?"_

"_Actually, yes, you are." I smile at the serious look on his face. I quickly look at the other undercover cops. They give me a disapproving look, but I can't help but speak to this man. There's something about him…_

"_Are you one of those weirdo, compulsives who come to the same restaurant, sit in the same chair, and eat the same food every day?" _

"_Uh.. No? No, I was sitting right there just three minutes ago. Then I went outside to get today's paper. I ordered a juice." He moves the cup of juice and the scent of pineapple fills the air. His arm brushes against my hand in the process. It leaves a trail of fire in its tracks. "Look! I made a crawling snake with the straw wrapper. You can finish it if you think you're up the job." His voice went from being serious to a childlike excitement._

"_I'm sorry," I say still smiling. "Do you want me to move?" I prepare to leave, but hope he tells me to stay. He drops the crawling snake._

"_Not anymore," he says as he sits down. I roll my eyes and look back to the menu that I'm not really interested in. "So, what's up?"_

"_I don't really have time to talk," I say quickly. Of course I want to talk with him, but the looks the other cops are giving me tell me to shut it._

"_But you haven't even heard what I was going to say," he replies just as quickly._

"_See. Now we've already wanted to." I pull my purse onto my lap. The longer our suspected doesn't show up, the more antsy I get; but for some reason every time this diner guys speaks, my nerves calm a bit._

"_Well," he continues relentlessly. "Since, you know, you're in my seat and all, I think that I at least deserve one question."_

"_Listen, diner guy.."_

"_Shawn." His name gives me butterflies._

"_Shawn," I say with a nod. "Flattered, really. Very often I am happy to meet new people; but today, right here, right now, I can't talk." _

"_I understand, I do!" He pauses for a moment. "What if I do the talking for the both of us?"_

"_Have at it. Do you mind if I read the paper and stare aimlessly out the window while you two talk?"_

"_No," he says rolling his eyes. I let myself smile again. "Can I get a name to work with?"_

"Juliet!" Shawn's voice brought me out of my memory. I quickly realised that I was smiling and stopped.

"What?" My voice cracked and I felt the tears swell up in my eyes.

"What's on your mind?" I just shook my head as I pulled up in front of the Psych office. "Well if nothing's on your mind can I at least say what's on mine?"

"If it's about what happened yesterday, I don't want to hear it." My voice was hard and cold, but I couldn't find in my heart to regret it.

"Sweetheart, you know we have to talk about it."

"I know," I said as sadly looked at him. "I'm just… not ready to. Not yet." He nodded with understanding.

"Okay," he said softly. He understood and I hoped he wouldn't push it again. "Just… just let me know when you are." He leaned over to kiss my cheek. My hands flew up to stop him.

"Goodbye Shawn," I said quickly.

"Goodbye, Jules," he said sadly as he shut the car door.

I couldn't have been more than a half of a mile from the Psych office when I had to pull over because I couldn't see anymore. I was just thankful that my windows were tinted so no one could see me put my head on the steering wheel as I cried my heart out again.

**A/n- So I haven't been getting as much feedback as I did the last time I posted this story. I have other stories I need to work on, so if not many people are reading this, updates are going to be less frequent or nonexistent. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/n- Thanks for the reviews guys! Glad to know some people are reading. I will definitely continue then!(: **

Chapter Five

-Shawn's POV-

Two hours and three pineapples later, Gus flew into the Psych office. "Shawn! Why didn't you answer any of my phone calls. I've been wor-" I looked up at him and imagined the scene he walked in on. His best friend that he was paranoid was suicidal- which I'm _not_- was looking in a mirror holding his tongue. "What the hell are you doing, Shawn?"

"Nothing," I said as I let go of my tongue and put the mirror down on my desk. "Fun fact! If you eat three whole pineapples in two-ish hours, your tongue practically becomes nonexistent!"

"Uh, okay." Gus gave me a confused look as he hung his jacket on his chair and sat down. "So, did you talk to Juliet yet?" I sighed and kicked my feet up on the desk.

"No. She doesn't want to talk about it." I rubbed my hands over my face. I was exhausted. I was up all night and even cried a few times. _Cried!_ I had lost the love of my life over something so stupid.

"You need too ta-"

"Man, don't you think I already know that," I snapped at him. Gus raised his eyebrows and opened his laptop. "I'm sorry, buddy. I just… I keep replaying last night." I sighed. "Was I wrong?" My voice cracked and I was a little embarrassed, but Gus doesn't have my keen observing skills so I doubt he even noticed.

"In some ways, yes. But what could you do? You couldn't just be like 'Oh hey, I've been lying to you and the whole police department for the past seven years.' C'mon son! You did what you had to do, and what is done is done. She'll come around."

"Thanks, buddy." That was the first time that Gus actually gave me advice that made sense.

"No problem. Hey, you want to go grab so tacos from Delgado's? I'm starved!"

"I'm in!" I jumped up quickly, but soon regretted it. Even though the pineapple is the goddess of all fruits, it doesn't do good to eat them in bulk. "Scratch that, I'm out man. I don't think I can eat anything ever again" Gus just shrugged and went back to whatever he was doing until my phone rang. I looked vigorously around for the phone with no luck.

"Hello, Shawn Spencer's phone." I looked up at Gus who was holding my phone and glaring at me. I forgot that I left my phone on his desk while looking for his secret candy stash. Gus denied its existence, but I've seen the wrappers in his trash can! "Okay, Chief. We'll be right there." He hung up my phone and tossed it to me. "You didn't tell me we had a case!"

"Did I mention it's a serial killer?"

Xxx

-Juliet POV-

"Everyone! You no longer have to fear! Shawn Spencer and Big Head Burton are here," Shawn said as they came through the Coroner's office doors. I looked up to see them both with tacos in their hands as the smell of Mexican food filled the room. I wrinkled my nose in disgust at the smell.

"Shawn, how many times do I have to tell you? So many other words start with a B. You could have chosen bold, beautiful-"

"Let me stop you right there," Shawn said putting his free hand. "First of all, Beautiful Head Burton doesn't make any sense!"

"I dig it," Gus shrugged as he took a big of his taco. He looked at me. "Hello Juliet." His words were almost inaudible as he spoke with food in his mouth. I gave him a half hearted smile and looked down.

I couldn't stand being in a room with the two of them. Gus was just as deep in the lie as Shawn was. Our 80's movie marathon nights where we all squeezed onto our small sofa seemed like they were in another lifetime. That's when I realised that my life was never going to be the same ever again.

"Mr. Spencer, Mr. Guster, you both know that you're not supposed to bring food into here," Chief scolded quietly as she entered the room. I was relieved that I wasn't the only one with them anymore.

"Oh, My bad Chief. I thought it wouldn't be rude not to ask her because, you know…" Shawn lowered his voice and acted as if he was telling a secret. "She's dead." I sighed and gave him a look. Shawn and Gus walked around the table and he took his usual stance next to me. I crossed my arms and shifted awkwardly. I looked up to see Chief giving me a questioning look. My stomach dropped. She knew.

"Okay everyone. Thank you for joining me today," Woody said as he waltzed into the room. He was too happy for the situation that we were in. Shawn whispered something to Gus. It started one of their unintelligible whispering arguments. Gus finally sighed and handed Woody one of his tacos. "Thanks Gus!" He patted Gus on the head like he was praising a dog.

After a few moments, Chief interrupted the feast. "Mr. Strode." Woody looked up from his lunch to the Chief. "Can you please tell us what you have found about our Jane Doe? We don't have all day."

"Certainly," he mumbled through the last bite of food. "Our Jane Doe is actually a Mary Krezel. Age: 27. ETD I'll say was around 10 this morning. The cause of death is exactly the same as our other three victims. If you'll look here.." Woody pulled the sheet down a little and pointed to Mary's neck. "…you'll see the puncture wound from the needle. The poison that's being used is still unknown, but isn't she a beauty?" I often wondered if it was safe for Woody not to be in an asylum.

"Chief," my partner's angry voice filled the room as he burst through the doors.

"Carlton! I told you to not come in," Chief said with a mixture of anger and relief. We all knew that even though he was supposed to be on a vacation, we needed him on this case. I needed him on the case.

"I stopped by to grab something from my desk and a forensic guy handed me this report. Something about a DNA match and blood found on a knife." Chief took the report from Carlton and looked over it.

"It says that the blood belongs to a Susan Krezel."

"Could that be one of Mary's relatives," I asked motioning to the body in between us.

"It seems; but whoever she is, she could be the killer… or the next victim." And that's when it hit me.

"It's her sister! That's what the blanks in his clue stood for."

"Good work, O'Hara," Chief said before turning Carlton. "Lassiter, you're on this case." She all told us the address and we all started to file out of the room.

"Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on," Carlton shouted.

"I'll explain to you on the way," I said before we quickly ran to the car.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter six

"Susan Krezel. SBPD. Open the door," Chief Vick called out. After a moment with no movement inside, she nodded to Carlton. He checked the door knob and it was locked. He mouthed a countdown and then busted the door open. I covered him as he entered the house. I stopped in my tracks as I took in the scene before us. As soon as Gus stepped into the house he quickly excused himself and ran right back out the door.

A young girl that couldn't be any older than 20 hung from a balcony. Her right hand and arm were severely cut up. I assumed that she was at her sister's house when the attack started, but how did the Hangman get her back to her own home without leaving a trail of blood behind. At the moment it didn't matter.

I turned my head away from the scene as my stomach twisted. For some reason this was all bringing me back to the top of that clock tower three years ago. My sight started to get fuzzy and the floor that I was staring at started to spin. I was afraid that I was going to faint or be sick all until a soft but firm hand grabbed my shoulder. "Jules, are you all right?" I looked up at Shawn and suddenly felt a little better.

"Yes. I-I'm fine." I didn't want to show how weak I actually was at that moment, but it wasn't working. I could barely hear anything with the ringing in my ears.

"O'Hara," Chief said. "I want you to clear the first floor." She was how uneasy I was. I nodded and walked towards a hallway while she started giving orders out to the other officers. As quickly as the spell came, it was gone. I got to the first door when I heard foots steps. I turned around to see Shawn.

"What are you doing," I whispered to him as he snuck up against the wall to me. In any other circumstance I would have laughed at him.

"Chief told me to go with you. Just in case."

I rolled my eyes and opened the door. It was a small study with no evidence that anyone had been in it for a while. "I can take care of myself."

"If you say so, Sweetheart."  
"Don't call me that," I said curtly. I instantly regretted my harshness. "Now let me do my job." I pushed past him to walk further down the hall.

We continued down the hall to the last room. This was obviously Susan's room and she was obviously younger than what I thought. She had a picture of her and Mary. They both had party hats on and were behind a cake that read _Happy 17__th __Birthday, Susan_. The picture was dated almost a year ago to the day.

Shawn came up behind me and looked at the picture. As much as I hated him right then, I loved him; and even though I couldn't trust him, he was still my only confidant. Even though we were in an argument, we still could speak like adults. "Shawn," I whispered. "For some reason this all seems like Déjà vu. Each time we go to a crime scene or I go over the evidence…I… it just seems…"

"Juliet." I didn't realised I was shaking until he put his hands on my shoulders and turned me around. I don't know why I was like this. I felt like I was bipolar. Maybe it from emotional stress. Maybe from not sleeping right the night before. Maybe from the memories of our last encounter with a serial killer. Maybe it was a combination of all three. "Yin is dead and you don't have to be afraid of this guy." He paused and took his hands off my shoulder when he realised he was breaking my space rule. As soon as he let go of me, fear sunk in. I wanted to tell him not to let me go, but he started speaking before I could. "And sweetheart-sorry- Jules, no matter what you decide,whether it be forgetting this whole mess or hating my guts, I still will protect you no matter what."

I was going to respond to him, but something caught my eye. I walked over to the desk and picked up a folded note with a Kleenex.

_She was an accident, I swear. Please don't hold this messy job against me. Everyone else that I have worked on was just practice so my final piece will be perfect. That's why I'm saving someone very special for my grand finale. I think I'm almost perfected so be prepared. Ta-ta for now! –H.M. _

A loud shriek broke through the silence. I carefully handed Shawn the note so our hands wouldn't touch but he still wouldn't get his finger print on it. I took my pistol back out and made my way towards the front of the house. What was there was heartbreaking. The cry came from a woman that was currently sobbing into a man's shoulder. Buzz was ushering them out of there house.

"They're the parents," Carlton said walking over to us. "The man said that they were just getting back from a weekend trip to San Francisco."

"That would explain why they never got our call about their other daughter," I said.

"Detectives," Chief said coming over to us. "This is not good at all." We nodded in agreement.

"Juliet found this in one of the rooms," Shawn said handing over the note from the Hangman. Chief read it over and shook her head.

"Well there's good news and bad news about this." She got out an evidence bag and bagged the note. "Good news: there's probably only one more murder we have to worry about. Bad news: we don't have much time to catch our killer. Mr. Spencer, after you get a reading on the vic, you and Mr. Guster are free until further notice. Detectives, I want you back at the station in an hour to go over the details again." We all agreed and departed.

Xxx

I looked at the clock. 9 pm. I sighed as I looked back to the files that I already knew all the information to. Carlton and I moved our desks so we were sitting across from each other. The office was practically empty besides some of the officers that have night shift and a few rookie detectives that were put on the case.

I looked around my desk at the mess of paper work and empty Chinese containers. Half of them were supposed to be mine, but I couldn't find my appetite. If my desk looked like this on a normal day it would drive me nuts, but for whatever reason I didn't care.

I just stared at a copy of the last note trying to find something. I waited for the longest time for something to just jump out at me, but nothing did. Eventually my head ended up on my desk. I have no idea how long I was asleep for, but it wasn't long enough.

"Dammit!" Carlton threw a folder down onto his desk. I jumped up and almost fell out of my chair. Damn swivel chairs! "There's nothing here! There's no possible lead anywhere."

"Well, if there's nothing else that we can find, you are free to go Carlton." My partner went to interject but Chief Vick put up a hand. "Go home and be with your wife. This killer isn't like Yin or Yang. They don't reach out as often as out past killers have. There's enough detectives here if we need them, but if there's a break in the case, I'll call." He thought for a moment and decided that it'd be best to follow her orders. "And O'Hara, may I have a word with you in my office."

**Thank you for the reviews! I love you all, you fabulous people (: And to the person who said that they needed help coming up with some story ideas, PM me and I'll help you out (: Thanks again for reading! Please leave a review and have a wonderful day.**

~Angie


	7. Chapter 7

**A/n- Warning, very angsty towards the end.**

Chapter Seven

I stood in front of Chief's desk and waited for her to come in. She gently shut the door and told me to have a seat. She sat down across from me and looked at me for a moment before speaking. "O'Hara, if you are too uncomfortable with this case, just say the word. I completely understand after your… incident with Yin."

"Oh Chief, it's okay," I waved my hand like it was no big deal. "I'm perfectly fine working it."

"Well I'm glad to hear it." She smiled at me and leaned back into her chair. "But I feel that there is something bothering you." My face went blank.

"N-nothing's wrong. I'm just a little… tired," I stumbled. "May I get back to that evidence? I still feel like we're missing something." She nodded. I numbly got up and walked towards the door. What she said next shocked me.

"You found out about Mr. Spencer, didn't you?" I froze before turning around and slowly walking back towards her. I didn't know what to say.

"What do you mean?" She gave me a sad smile and put a finger to her head like Shawn always did. "How did you…how long have you known?"

"Since the very beginning." I sat back down in the chair completely shocked and waited for her to go on. "When I first started at the SBPD, I was Junior Detective." I smiled knowing that I had the exact position that Chief had when she started. "I worked alongside Henry for years. He was the head detective at the time."

"I had no idea that you and Henry were partners," I blurted out. Shawn never told me any of this; but then again, he was good at not telling people things.

"He taught me everything I know," she said with a smile. "Often in our spare time or to break the silence in car rides he would talk about his son, who was about 14 at the time. He would tell me how ever since he was a young boy Henry trained him to be the perfect cop. He'd brag about his son's eidetic memory and how he taught him how to be observant. I don't want to tell you the whole story because Shawn deserves to tell you when you're both ready for that talk. Long story short, I knew the by the second or third time we hired him that he was a fraud; but it didn't matter. I wasn't going to point it out because Henry was right. He had the potential to be the perfect cop. He was solving cases that we couldn't even crack. Even though Mr. Spencer probably doesn't even have a PI license, he is one hell of a detective. I'd go so far as to say that he is the best detective this department has seen."

All I could do was smile through tears. I looked down at my hands as I absentmindedly picked at my nail polish from the wedding. Maybe Shawn did have good intentions. Maybe he was just so caught up in his lie he couldn't find a way out. _It doesn't matter though,_ I thought._ I can't trust him anymore anyways. _ A single lie can make someone second guess every truth that they were ever told. And sadly, I knew that Shawn didn't only lie to me once.

"Juliet." I looked back at Chief. That was one of the few times that she had ever called me by my first name. "I know that what he did was wrong and he hurt you. And I know that you're going to have a hard time trusting him again. But Mr. Spencer is a good man. You both deserve each other, and you both deserve to be happy. You need your time, that's understandable; but do take in consideration how much he loves you." I smiled and nodded.

"Thank you, Chief. I needed that," I said as I stood up. Then the unimaginable happened. Chief Vick walked around her desk and pulled me into a hug. It felt weird that my boss of almost seven years was becoming a friend, but I guess it was inevitable.

"Anytime, O'Hara. Now," she walked back over to her chair and opened the files on our case again. "I want you to go home and get some rest. I'll tell you the same thing I told your partner. I'll call you if there's any changes in the case." I went to leave without putting up a fight. "And O'Hara. We _never_ had this conversation," she said slowly. I told her I understood and left to get my things.

"What was that all about," Carlton asked when I got to our desks. He could have been home by now. He was obviously taking his time gathering his things up so he could be nosy about my conversation with Chief Vick.

"Nothing of importance," I say with a small smile.

"I know you're lying O'Hara," he said as we started to walk through the dead station to the door.

"I'm not," I say with a defensive laugh. "It really wasn't anything of importance to you." When we stopped at our cars he turned to me with a serious face.

"Was it about Spencer?"

"What do you mean," I said with fake innocence.

"Cut the crap, O'Hara. I know something is up with you two!" Damn his detective skills.

"Carlton-"

"Don't Carlton me," he interrupted in a harsh tone. When he spoke again his tone became soft. Gentle but still stern and filled with honesty. "Say the word O'Hara and I _will _shoot him."

"Carlton," I said in shock. "That's not necessary! It's far from necessary! The complete opposite of necessary." I realised that I was rambling and stopped myself. I looked up at him. "We're just going through a… rough spot. It'll be fine." I don't know who I was trying to convince: him or myself. And I wasn't sure if I wanted to be right. Would it eventually be okay? My stomach dropped when I realised that I didn't know the answer.

"If you're sure." I nodded. I was glad I wouldn't have to have my partner convicted of murder. I had overheard his and Shawn's conversation three years when he threatened to kill him if he ever hurt me, and I was sure that he would take him up on that.

"I am." I said opening my car door.

"Okay, well… uh…call me if you need anything," he said awkwardly before walking over to his car door.

"Okay."

"I mean it."

"I know," I said with a smile. "Thank you." He nodded and got into his car. I waited until his car was out of sight until I pulled my phone out.

I had to call Shawn. We had to work this out. It had only been two days, but this game we were playing was mentally draining. I couldn't keep trying to figure out if he loved me or if I was just another one of his games. After my talk with Vick I was determined to resolve everything that night. No matter what the outcome was.

I quickly tried to dial Shawn's number, but between my shakiness and the tears in my eyes, I couldn't dial it. When I finally got his number right, it went straight to voicemail. This happened another two times. I sighed and started my car. I told myself that he and Gus were probably doing something. I tried to block out the thoughts that said he just didn't want to be bothered with me.

I kept my mind as empty as I felt on the drive home.

I was used to being greeted by Shawn when I got home; no matter what time it was. As I unsuccessfully tried to unlock the door, my mind drifted to a night a few months before.

Carlton and I had a huge break in our case and I was at the station until well after midnight. When I got home I expected Shawn to be sleep, but instead he was waiting for me in a suit with candles on the table. Apparently he had been waiting for hours with a homemade spaghetti dinner to surprise me. Since it was so late and the meal was in the refrigerator, we settled on a candlelight peanut butter and jelly dinner. I felt awful that I ruined his plan, but he said it was still better than he imagined.

The house was silent and felt vacant. Just like the night before, I put myself on autopilot. I went into the kitchen and pulled a box of fruit loops out. I held the box and looked at it for a few moments. I still couldn't find my appetite. I sighed, putting the box back and kicking my heels off. I left them in front of the stove. I'd deal with them later.

When I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, I almost screamed. I looked awful. I had bags under my eyes and they were bloodshot. I unpinned my hair my hair and got ready for a shower. Just like every night, I turned the water almost as hot as it could go. I tried to scrub the new horrors of the day away. And just like every day, it didn't work.

When I got back to my room I checked my phone hoping to see a missed call that wasn't there. I wanted to call again him again, but it was almost two in the morning. Before I knew what I was doing, I had dialed the number. While I was busy mentally scolding myself, my message started recording. I didn't realise it was until about five seconds of silence was already recorded. I couldn't just hang up then! He'd be horrified that something was wrong. Maybe.

"Hey, Shawn!" I tried to sound happy and lighthearted, but my effort sounded weak and pathetic. "Uhm…" What was I supposed to say? I still didn't know all the facts and that's something I almost always need before confronting someone about something. Especially something this big. What I said next didn't mean to slip out. "I miss you." I sounded so small as my voice cracked and tears filled my eyes. "I really want to talk about… all of this, but I guess I picked the wrong time." I tried to let out a small laugh, but it wouldn't come out. "Well, you don't have to call me back since it's so late. I guess I'll-I'll see you sometime tomorrow."

I sat my phone on the nightstand and crawled under the blankets. The bed felt like it was going to swallow me whole. I rolled over and looked out the window. I wasn't going to get any sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

-Shawn-

"Man, we should not have stayed up to watch those movies and say that we did," I complained as Gus stopped at yet another red light. I was exhausted. We went to see a special viewing of Back to the Future. And by special viewing I mean they played all three movies back to back to back!

"You know it was worth it."

"You know that's right." We lazily gave each other a fist bump when the light turned green. I couldn't wait to get to the station to finally have some coffee. That's how tired I was. I didn't even like coffee and I wanted some. "I think I'm going crazy," I moaned. "I keep hearing a beeping sound."

"No, that's not the reason you're crazy," Gus said shaking his head. "I hear it too." That's when I remembered I had set my phone to beep every few minutes when I had a missed call. I was about to look for it, but Gus came to another stop. I knew there weren't any other lights or stop signs before getting to the Psych office, so I looked up to see why we stopped. There were about ten police cars including Lassie and Chief's personal cars.

"What do you think happened," I asked suddenly awake. We couldn't see over the barricade of emergency vehicles.

"I don't know, but do you think we're invited?" My phone beeped again. What else would that missed call been about? I had no one else besides the chief or Lassie to call me since Juliet didn't want to speak to me. I shook that thought out of my head and put a fake smile on.

"We're always invited to crime scenes," I laughed as I went to open the door. Gus turned the Blueberry off.

"I don't think that's true."

"Agree to disagree." As we started walking towards the scene, my dad came out from under the police tape. "Poppa Bear! What are you doing here," I asked clasping my hands together.

"I was… out for a walk," he lied through his teeth as he reached Gus and me. We were about ten feet from the crime scene tape.

"You don't even live near here," I said matter-of-factly.

"Uh, your dad lives a block that way, Shawn." I looked in the direction Gus was pointing in, and then completely ignored him and looked back to my dad.

"You didn't answer my question." I tried to step around him, but he was a second quicker. "Why _are_ you here anyways? It's not like you beat us to a crime scene on a daily basis." I went to move around him, but he blocked me yet again. "Will you _please_ just let me _do my job_." I stomped my foot

"I can't let you do that, Kid." I realised something wasn't right. There was some kind of emotion that he was trying to hide in his eyes.

"Henry," Lassie's booming voice broke the short lived silence. "I thought I told you to keep him away!"

"What do you think I'm trying to do," my dad turned around and yelled. I used their little moment to slip away and get closer.

That's when I saw it. A little green Beetle Bug smashed against a pole. It was so badly wrecked that it was only about half of its original size. I let myself into the scene despite the disapproving yells from a few cops. My mind was only set on one thing and that was reaching Juliet's car. I was almost at the car when a set of arms caught me in my tracks. I tried to break free, but it was useless. "Jules," I yelled out as my legs went boneless. I tried to resist against Lassie, but that too was a lost cause. Instead I took the time to quickly look over as much of the car as I could.

The first thing I noticed was the sun visor. It looked awkward. Like it was down but then forced back up after the crash. "Wait, wait, wait!" Thankfully Lassie stopped.

"What is it, Spencer?" I could tell by the sound of his voice that the situation of the case was killing Lassie, but he did well holding his composure.

"Have you checked the visor?"

"What?" I used that moment to break out of his grasp and run back to the car. I hurriedly turned the visor down. A neatly folded card fell onto the seat. I picked it up and went to open it, but a new voice stopped me.

"Mr Spencer," Chief scolded as she walked over. "You're not supposed to be here. Yet here you are and you're getting your fingerprints all over the evidence!"

"They haven't left prints before. They aren't going to leave them now." I felt like I was in a dream. I was moving but feeling nothing. Nothing except a giant hole torn from my chest. I slowly opened the note and prepared for the worst.

_You'll notice your little detective is missing, but don't look too hard._

_You won't be finding her anytime soon. Alive anyways. _

_We'll give you two days to find your Juliet before we_

_finish her off. –H.M_

I just stood there in shock. I didn't know what to do. I just kept telling myself that it was only a dream. Nothing more than a dream, but my bleeding mouth begged to differ. A hand on my shoulder brought me back to reality. I shrugged it off and looked at the chief. "Where do we start? What do we know?"

"Mr. Spencer," Chief said apologetically. "I'm sorry to say this but I'm going to have to take you off this case."

"What," I shouted. "Are you kidding me?!" One of the Forensics took the note from my hand and bagged it. I was so angry, I almost punched the man in his face.

"You are too personally involved with this case-"

"That bastard has my girlfriend! I am helping with this case!"

"Remember what happened last time you were too emotionally involved in a case," Dad said to me.

"Yeah, I do. Your shooter was found, by me, and was shot by Jules." Saying her name and knowing I might never see her again killed me. This couldn't be happening. Not again.

"You almost died several times and broke so many laws in the process I can't even remember them. You were lucky that we were allowed to overlook that," Chief said calmly. "This case involves a highly dangerous serial killer and we cannot risk another civilian! Psych is no longer hired on this case and that is final."

"Remember the Ying Yang case? I helped find both Jules and Abigail AND caught Yin! What makes this one different?"

"Mr Spencer, if you don't leave now I'm going to be forced to have you escorted off of the vicinity."

"You didn't answer my question," I said as my anger got even bigger.

"Shawn," my dad warned. I just continued to hold my ground Chief nodded and a hand was put on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry Shawn," Buzz the Gentle Giant said before leading me towards Gus and the Blueberry.

"Don't be." I was a little calmer, but I still bitterly pulled away from Buzz and stormed to the car. We sat in silence until my phone beeped again. "Why won't that damned thing stop," I yelled as I slammed my fist on the dash. Luckily the airbag did deploy, but the glove box did open. Something shinny caught my eye. I reached out for my lost phone.

"Shawn, I know you're in a bad situation, but this-"

"This is a company car. I know, I know," I said a little too harshly. I felt all the blood drain from my face when I unlocked my phone to see that I had three missed calls from Jules. All anger was replaced with despair when saw she had left a voicemail.

"What's wrong?"

"It… it was… Jules." My voice was small and weak. Gus leaned over to see what I was talking about.

"I'll listen to it. If you want me to that is."

"No," I said shaking my head. I pressed my lips together before speaking again. "I have to do it." I stared at the phone for another few moments before my shaky hand lifted it to my ear.

"Hey Shawn!" The very sound of her heart broken voice crushed me. I closed my eyes and waited for her to go on. "I miss you," she whispered. I could tell she was holding back tears. I felt one slip from my eyes. "I really want to talk about… all of this, but I guess I picked the wrong time. Well, you don't have to call me back since it's so late. I guess I-I'll see you tomorrow." The phone went dead, and so did I.

I sat there staring at my knees. For the first time there was not a single thought in my head or feeling in my body. "Shawn?" Gus put a hand on my shoulder. I slowly turned my head to look at him.

"We have to find her," I said in a soft whisper.

"We will Shawn. Don't worry."

Xxx

-Juliet-

When I woke up, pain hit me like a brick wall. That's when I remembered what had happened. Flashbacks of the wreck kept appearing behind my closed eyes. I wanted to open them, but I knew I couldn't. That would completely give away the fact that I was awake.

I tried to take inventory of my injuries without too much movement. I figured that nothing was broken; maybe just bruised. But regardless, that was the worst pain I had ever been in. Everything felt stiff and I was pretty sure I had dried blood on my head.

After staying still for a few moments, I came to the conclusion that I was alone. I slowly opened my eyes and looked around without moving my head. I was right. Though I was alone, what I saw terrified me. My arms were zip tied to a pole that went to the ceiling. I was in the middle of a giant room. A basement. There was a small window to my left. From the look of the light coming in, it was evening. There was a door about fifteen feet in front of me. An escape was possible, but very unlikely.

I heard footsteps coming downstairs from behind me. I quickly shut my eyes and listened. "Did she wake up yet," a woman asked.

"Not yet," a man responded. I knew their voices. I had heard them before, but I couldn't remember where. The pain in my head wasn't allowing me to think clearly.

"She better because that _psychic_ is really catching on. Way quicker than I originally thought." Was Shawn actually looking for me? Even though that what it sounded like, I quickly chased that thought out of my head. I didn't want to give myself any false hope. They continued talking but I was slowly starting to fade away again. Before losing consciousness, the last thing I thought was, _who's going to find my dead body?_

**Cliff hanger! :D lol I'm so mean. Let me know your thoughts so far and/or your predictions. I'm curious (: Thanks for reading! **

~Angie


	9. Chapter 9

**A/n- So I was going to let the agony drag on for a couple chapters, but I've decided against it. So I apologise if this is seeming rushed all of a sudden. I just want to get on to the healing process (; Thanks for reading!**

Chapter Nine

The clock said that it was three in the afternoon. It had only been thirty-two hours since Jules was taken, but it felt like years had gone by. We were running out of time and I still had come up with nothing. I sat at my desk starring at the inside window on the wall behind me. I had the note the Hangman left written in the exact handwriting on the left side of the window. On the right side we had a suspect list. Well, a suspect list containing nothing. Not a single name. We couldn't think of anyone who would want to do harm to sweet, sweet Jules. I mean, she even got Christmas cards from the people she put behind bars.

I sighed and closed my eyes. For the hundredth time I replayed everything that had happened since this case started.

I went into the station. I tried to talk to Jules, but she didn't want anything to do with me. We had a briefing. I was bored. I looked at the clock: 9:47. Weird dude listened in on our talk. Accidentally blamed buzz for murder. Had another fight with Jules. Went to the second victims' house.

I felt my head bob to the side. By the time I realised that I was falling asleep, it was too late.

_I instantly regret not bringing a blanket as we sit down in the sand. It's surprisingly still warm from the day's sun. I look over to see Jules drawing patterns in the sand. Without thinking I grab her free hand with one of my own. She looks up and smiles at me as she entwines her fingers in mine. She leans her head on my shoulder and looks out at the sunset against the sea. _

_I wonder to myself why this feels so awkward. It's our first official date, but we had gone out and done things as friends before and it's never felt awkward. Why is the silence feeling _so_ awkward?! I tell myself I have to break the silence._

"_I love you, Jules." That's not what I had in mind. I immediately want to punch myself in the face after those words had slipped. Never before have I told another girl-besides my mother- that I loved her, and I know that isn't something you do on the first date! She looks up at me and searches my eyes. I can't tell what she's thinking. I start to panic. "I-I didn't… That was really forward. I-" She stops me with a kiss. After a moment, we pull away and I rest my forehead against hers. "I'm sorry," I say again. Before I could say anything else, she interrupts me again, but sadly it isn't with a kiss this time._

"_Shawn, don't apologise." She pauses and smiles. "I love you, too."_

"_You do," I say in shock. "I mean… you do." I say it the second time a little more collected. She giggles before speaking._

"_Yes, I do, and I've waited for four years to say it!"_

"_Oh, yeah," I ask as I stand and help her up. "Well, I've waited five."_

"_Shawn, we didn't know each other five years ago!" Our fingers lace together again and we walk back towards the pier. _

The sound of the front door made me jump back awake. I looked at the clock to find I was only sleeping for about ten minutes. I thanked Gus as he handed me yet another Starbucks coffee. That's when it hit me. "I think I got something," I yelled as I jumped up from my chair. I slightly spilt the coffee, but I couldn't care any less. "That guy who showed up to the briefing uninvited could have something to do with it. Why didn't I think of this sooner?!"

"What are you talking about?" That's when I remembered that Gus wasn't there that day.

"We need to get down to the station. I bet they keep a log of everyone that goes in and comes out of that place."

"Shawn, you know that they wouldn't let us near any information let alone inside the station."

"I know. That's why this calls for… stealth mode."

Xxx

Gus waited outside as I carefully snuck up to the front counter. I grabbed the visitor login book and crouched back down to the floor. The station was rather busy so no one really noticed what I was doing. Plus, people had come accustomed to our shenanigans, I was just naturally ignored. I flipped a few pages back to two days before around the time of the briefing. I ran my finger down the list of people. There were two people that logged out around the time of the murder. One was a Dana Miller. The other a Jack Cowely. I motioned for Gus to join me. We snuck past the Chief's office and made our way to a desk that I knew wouldn't be occupied.

Only a handful of people knew that we weren't allowed to be on the case and from the looks if it they were all in the Chief's locked down office. With one last quick look around I sat down in Juliet's seat. I felt weird, almost sick, being at her desk. I turned the computer on and thought about what the password could be. I quickly typed it in but it was denied.

"Shawn. Just because Pineapplesrock01 is your Facebook, Twitter, Netflix, and countless other account passwords doesn't mean its Juliet's universal password too." I opened the desk drawer above my legs and picked up one of the fancy organizers.

"Really Gus? I quit paying for Netflix 2 years ago. Why should I pay for it when I can use my dad's or yours?" I looked underneath the small box to see a line of letters and numbers scribbled onto a piece of tape. I typed them into the computer and logged in as Gus reached over for a fist bump.

I clicked through different folders until I came to a program that I knew too well. After the 90 billion years it took to load I typed in the guy's name. After another extinction of the dinosaurs, all of his info popped up. I skimmed through it looking for something-anything- that could give us a lead. I clicked on the relatives' link. He only had one immediate family member alive: Allison Cowley. Allison. This was all starting to come together.

"Dude! You remember that crazy chick that Yin had 'brainwashed' a few years ago?"

"Yeah. She still haunts my nightmares occasionally. Why?"

"She's our suspect's only alive relative alive. It says here that she was released from the mental prison she was at six months ago. Completely rehabilitated. Nothing was held against her because she was 'brainwashed.'"

"Guster? What are-" I closed my eyes and let out a frustrated sigh as a booming voice filled the station. "SPENCER! What the hell. I thought Chief Vick told you that you weren't on this case. Why are you on O'Hara's computer?"

I was going to make up a ridiculous cover story and say that the spirits led me to her computer and typed all the information. That I couldn't control my fingers, but no. It wasn't the time to play games. It wasn't time to make up names and harass Lassie. Juliet was in trouble and she needed me to grow up.

"I know where she is, Carlton. You can either blow me off and kick me out of here; or, we can go and save your partner and my girlfriend.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

As we pulled up to the house, adrenaline ran through me. Police surrounded the house as Lassie and I got out of the car. I looked up at the house and prayed to whoever was listening for Jules to be in there. To be in there and to be alive. That's all I wanted. Lassie walked over to me and took his gun out. "Spencer. You're staying out here."

"No I'm not," I said, grabbing his shoulder to stop him from walking away. "I made a promise to Juliet that I wouldn't let anything happen to her and I failed at keeping it. Lassie, I am going in to save her whether you like it or not." He thought for a moment.

"You know how to shoot?"

"What do you think?" He thought for another short moment and then sighed. He pulled out his spare gun and gave it to me.

"You don't know _how awesome_ you just were," I said.

"I figured you were going to do something illegal anyways," he rolled his eyes and started walking towards the house. "Cover me."

"Shouldn't we wait for Chief Vick," I asked, jogging up to him.

"We don't have time. She'll be here in a few minutes." He twisted the door knob to find that it was unlocked. I instantly knew something wasn't right. He opened the door and we quickly went in. There was no use in being quiet. We had the vicinity of the neighborhood surrounded with every possible cop car. If they were here, they knew we were here too. As we were clearing the rooms, everything felt too still.

I went to open a door, but it was locked. I quickly rammed my shoulder against it and it opened. I shinned my flashlight inside to find it empty, but before I left something across the room caught my eye. I found the light switch and turned it on. What I saw made my stomach drop. I called out Lassiter's name. I heard several pairs of feet running up the steps, so I figured that the Chief had arrived.

"What in the hell," Lassie said as the got to the door. I slowly walked towards the wall. This creep had been stalking Jules. And for some time too! The pictures started with her on her phone walking out of a hospital. It was the same pantsuit she wore the day my dad was shot. There were pictures of everything ranging from when she was undercover dating those men to her shopping at the grocery store to her leaving Lassie's wedding reception. This enraged me. I turned around and swiped my arm across the desk I was next to sending everything that was on it to the floor. I looked up and Lassie, Chief, Gus, and Buzz.

"This was too easy," I said. I ran my fingers through my hair.

"What do you mean?"

"This," I said opening my arms. "This whole thing! Finding this place! It was too damn easy! They wouldn't have been here! They wouldn't have brought her here! That bastard is too smart for that." I punched the surface of the desk.

"Mr. Spencer, do you know where they could have taken her," Chief asked after I started to regain my cool. I closed my eyes and shook my head even though I wasn't sure. I searched through my thoughts and memories as quickly as I could, but there was nothing.

"No I-I can't." My anger quickly turned into fear and despair.

"Anything can help. Think, Shawn." I looked at her and knew that I was their last option. I was Jules' last hope. She had a little under an hour left and I was the only one that could save her. I closed my eyes and thought of her. And that's when it hit me.

"The clock tower!"

"Excuse me?!"

"You know! The clock tower! The one that Mr. Yin… She's there and we don't have much time!

Xxx

"I really hope you're right, Mr. Spencer," Chief Vick said. I looked up at the top of the clock tower and replied after seeing the small movement of a shadow.

"I am." A scream followed a second after. They didn't need any more convincing that I was right. The four of us ran through the front doors with about a dozen SWAT members behind us. Chief pressed the elevator button. My impatience grew, so I ran for the steps. After a few seconds, they followed.

I wanted to look up to see how much longer I'd be climbing, but I knew that would only bring me despair. I felt like he was going too slowly, but in reality I was going full speed. By climbing at least two steps in each stride, I was three or four levels higher than everyone else.

When I reached the top, I became disoriented from all the different doors and all the loud noises from the clock in front of me. I looked to my right to see that a door was slightly opened. Without thinking I ran through it. Luckily it was the right door. I had played this moment out at least three billion times on the way to the tower, but it didn't go as I could ever imagine it.

It felt like a dream. Everything was going so slow. I felt numb; as if it wasn't real. "Don't you touch her," I yelled out, but I couldn't hear the words. Two people, a man and woman, both turned around and pulled out guns. Three shots were fired and two bodies fell to the ground. I dropped my gun and ran over to Juliet. I was thankful she wasn't over the balcony or up high. "Jules! It's okay. I have you," I said as I brought her back down.

She collapsed into me and I gently led her to the ground. I took the bundle of cloth out of her mouth and took a quick inventory of the visible damage. Her forehead had a gash out of it, her neck was severely bruised and in parts bleeding. There was a small paper cut like scratch going down her neck, but from the rate that it was bleeding it was a lot deeper than what it looked. She had countless number of bruises everywhere.

I looked up to see if the medics where there yet. Chief had just arrived, so I figured that they were almost there. A small, weary voice drew my attention back to the love of my life in front of me.

"Shawn…"

"Shh. Sweetheart, it's all right. I got you. Everything's going to be fine." I caressed her cheek and wiped a few tears from her eyes as I spoke. I heard Carlton call for the paramedics to hurry up. "Everything's going to be okay." At this point I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince. I looked into her eyes. I could tell that she wasn't completely there.

"Shawn. I'm… I'm so…" A cough interrupted her. I watched blood splatter onto the front of myself and run down the side of her mouth. Juliet's eye started to roll back into her head.

"Jules, sweetheart," I said gently patting her face. "Stay with me! You got to stay with me." It didn't work. "Hey. HEY! I need help over here," I shouted just as the paramedics got there. I knew they needed room, but I didn't want to leave her side. Lassiter pulled me up by the back of my shirt and forced me to back up a couple of feet.

"Nice… work, Spencer," he said not taking his eyes off of his partner. I heard something in Lassie's voice. Something I never heard before. He was trying to hold back tears. If we were in any situation other than this one, I would have called him out on it, but I was trying to hold back tears of my own as I watched them take Jules away. I folded my arms but quickly moved my hand away when I touched something wet. I looked to find my arm was dripping with blood.

"What the hell," I said as I touched my arm again. Lassie looked over to see what I was doing.

"Don't touch it," he scolded me like I was a child. I looked at him with wide, confused eyes. This wasn't Jules' blood. This was definitely my blood. "I'll give you a ride to the hospital. Just… don't yet blood on anything."

"And how am I supposed to do that?!" I followed him, weaving through a much of CSI and officers who were investigating.

"I have a towel in the car," he sighed. I rolled my eyes. I didn't think that was going to help.

I looked at the bodies of my Jules' kidnappers. I wanted to spit on them. I wanted them to be alive so I could kill them again. In the back of my mind I knew I wasn't easily going to get away with murder like this, but the only thing on my mind was Juliet clinging to life and I wasn't there next to her.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/n- I apologise in advance for my lack of medical knowledge. **

Chapter Eleven

After forty-five minutes I was "released" and able to join the rest of the team in the waiting room. The first person I saw after walking through the doors was my dad. For some reason I was bracing myself for a lecture or something, but I as completely wrong. "Shawn," he said when he saw me. We walked to each other and he pulled me into a hug. "When I heard what happened I got here as soon as I could. Are you all right?!"

"Yeah, dad, I'm fine. I wouldn't say that I was shot, though. More like… bullet scrapped." He laughed once before letting me go. His laugh didn't reach his eyes though. I could tell that there was dread or despair building up side of him, and it wasn't because of me. I was shot and kidnapped and he didn't feel anything, or at least, if he did, he didn't show it. That slip of emotion in his eyes was about Jules. "What's the news on Juliet," I asked the small group of us that were there. The only ones in the waiting room where Gus, Lassie, my dad, and a few other people who weren't with us.

"No word," Lassie said. "Chief Vick and McNab had to leave to go to a bank robbery."

"There's never a rest in Santa Barbra," Gus said. I sat down next to him only to stand up again. I couldn't stay still. My hands were shaking in my pockets. The anxiety I felt when both Jules and Abigail were kidnapped was nothing compared to what I was feeling at that moment. The person that I loved more than myself and Gus and combined was somewhere in this hospital and she could be dead for all I know.

"Speaking of never resting," my dad said, "Lassiter, you haven't been married a week yet and you've only spent a few hours with your wife. Go home and…"

"Henry," Lassie said standing up. "I am _not_ leaving my partner."

"You live five minutes from the hospital. There isn't much you can do for Juliet but go home and be with Marlowe. She would want that." He paused to let Lassie think on that truth for a second. "I'll call if something changes." No one ever wins a fight against my dad. Trust me, I would know.

"Alright, but you _better_ call." They continued to talk before he left, but I didn't pay attention. I started pacing back and forth in front of where Gus was sitting. I couldn't stand not knowing what was going on.

"If you keep walking like that, the hospital is going to bill you for ruining their carpet." I was going to say a sarcastic comment back at Gus, but I couldn't find it in me. I knew my best friend meant well. He was scared too, so I took his advice and sat down. As soon as I sat down, and unfamiliar voice broke the silence.

"Family of Juliet O'Hara." Gus and my dad stood up with me and the doctor walked over to us. "Hello, I'm Doctor Walker-"

"Is everything okay," I quickly asked him.

"Well, we can't be sure at this point. I've given her some antibiotics to try to counteract with the poison before we go into surgery."

"Surgery? Why surgery?" I felt myself start to panic. After a millisecond my mind cleared and I wanted to hit myself for my stupidity. _Of course she needs surgery!_

"Her wrist is broken, but not as severely as it looks in the x-ray. That's the easy fix. We just have to go in and reposition the bones. It won't even take that long to heal. The hard part will be fixing her lung. Detective O'Hara has three cracked ribs and one broken one. The broken rib slightly punctured her left lung." He looked down at the clipboard for a second like he didn't want to tell us something. "Surgery is very risky. Before we got her stabilized, she had flat lined. Twice." My head got fuzzy and I fell back into the chair behind me. "As I said, in her state surgery is risky, but without fixing a punctured lung…well, you get the idea." He obviously didn't finish the sentence from the look on my face. "Now, before I can continue with surgery, I need papers of consent signed since Detective O'Hara can't give us the go ahead." I knew that I was probably the last person she wanted to sign her life over into this doctor's hands, but I did. I was the only one that could anyways.

After my dad was done on the phone with Lassie, the waiting room was silent. More than silent. My ears starting ringing because of it. I sat and tried to keep myself preoccupied with different things. I downloaded an app called Find the Pineapple. After about five minutes I beat all 173 levels. Those things were too damn easy. The only thing I could think of doing that would keep my mind off of what was going on was to memorize the contacts in my phone. That worked until I got to the M's.

Maryanne French.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back onto the wall. I had forgotten to call Juliet's mom. Gus leaned over to see what made me freak out. "I'll call her if you want." I shook my head before standing up.

"No. No, I have to do it." I dialed her number as I walked outside. I started pacing back and forth as I tried to figure out what to say in a voicemail. Good news? I didn't have to think of a voice mail to leave her. Bad news? She picked up.

"Hello?"

"Maryanne? Uh.. hi. It's Shawn… Spencer."

"Oh. Hi Shawn! You sounded shocked that I answered."

"I am," I answered honestly with a laugh. "Isn't it like four in the morning in Tampa?"

"Yes, but I'm in England for a business trip right now." Of course she'd be in England.

"Do you have a second? I need to talk to you," I said as I tried to think of something to tell her. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it and have her freak out when she was half way across the world, but that was kind of hard to do when her daughter was going into surgery after being kidnapped by a serial killer and almost died twice.

"Yeah, I'm getting ready to go on my lunch break. Shawn, is something wrong?"

"Well, sort of," I stumbled. "There was an… accident today and Juliet is in the hospital."

"What," she screamed. "What happened? Is she okay?! I can be on the first flight out of London!"

"No, no, no. You're fine. It's fine. She's fine."

"Let me talk to her."

"You can't."

"Why not?!" I could tell that her panic kept getting worse as the conversation went on. I slightly regretted calling, but that would have been… wrong. Selfish?

"She's in surgery. She has a few cracked ribs." It was the truth, but it was half of the truth. So it was still lying. _Why is lying so hard?! You lie all the time._ "Juliet wouldn't want you to leave." _At least_ that's _the truth. _

"Are you sure? Tomorrow is my last day. I can come out then." She paused. "Are you sure I don't need to come now?"

"One-hundred percent positive." I tried to sound reassuring, but I only sounded pathetic.

After we said our goodbyes. I stared at my phone. The longer I stood there, the angrier I got. I was mad at everything and everyone, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't mad at Juliet. Why'd she have to freak out and kick me out of our home? Why'd she have to be so unbelievably stubborn and not hear me out? If I would have been there, none of this would have happened. I could have protected her! That's when I realised that the only person I could be angry with was myself. This was all of my fault! If I never had lied in the first she'd still be in Tampa- not dying. She'd probably be married to that Scott guy and have a family. She'd be happy and not here dying. I was the only one to blame.

Out of anger I threw my phone at the side of the building and watched it break into pieces. That sent me over the edge. I knotted my hands in my and let out an angry yell to the sky. I sat down and put my head in my hands. This was all too much.

I don't know how long I was sitting there like that, but by the time I looked up, purple was lining the horizon. I stood up and let the blood flow to my numb feet. Slowly, I made my way back through the hospital doors. I saw Juliet's doctor talking to Gus and my dad. I jogged over and asked what the update was.

"Detective O'Hara is out of surgery and in recovery. Everything went very well. A lot better that I had originally excepted."

"So she'll be okay," I asked.

"I can't tell for sure right now." All the hope drained from me. "The next 48 hours are critical. If she makes through the next two days. I'm doubtful that we will have very many issues. Just to be on the safe side-and also to let her body heal- she's been put in a medically induced coma."

"How long will it be until she wakes up," Gus asked.

"Anywhere from seven to ten days." We nodded with understanding. "Even though she's not conscious, you may come back to see her one at a time."

"Go ahead, Kid," my dad said when I hesitated to move. "And take your time."


End file.
